So, it happened. My friends started having babies.
While I’ll admit that kids can be super cute, I’m still not ready to be near small children for a prolonged period of time, let alone to have any of my own. I didn’t have any siblings, so please believe me when I say that I was terrified to even hold
a baby until my cousin’s daughter was born last year. It’s pretty clear in the picture of us together
that I’m convinced I’m going to drop her. They just look so easy to break is all! It’s SCARY!!
But nonetheless, my friends are having babies. So, seeing as I have ZERO advice for them, I’ve decided I’ll go the route of terrifying them (in a humorous sort of way) instead. Charming, right?
1. AHHHHHHHH! You’re Having a Baby!
My sentiments exactly. I view the “AHHHHHHHHH!” message of this Emily McDowell card
as a terrifying “run away now!” message - similar to when you’re facing zombies, monsters, or the collective shriek of the populace if Starbucks were to stop carrying Pumpkin Spice Lattes. For those of you with a kinder mindset, the card doubles nicely as a congratulations note with an “OMG I’m so excited for you!” feel.
2. Sugar and Milk Stationery Set-
This stationery set by Mr. Boddington’s Studio includes three designs, my favorite being “We Are So Tired
Thankful” – you know, just to remind your friends or family how little sleep they’re gonna get in the near future. Two additional designs read “Greetings from my Crib” (a bright, aquamarine) and “From the New Mama and Papa” in a warm orange. This sweet set includes four cards of each design for a total of 12 cards + envelopes. Get yours here.
3. Go the F**k to Sleep-
A warning: while written in children’s book style, this gift if definitely adults only. It has bad words in it - on every page. If you’re cool with that, DEFINITELY consider this profane, affectionate and honest bedtime book for parents
that has become one of our top selling items at RPS. Yet another reminder that babies = no sleep, ‘til… adolescence? Written by Adam Mansbach, illustrated by Ricardo Cortés, and approved with a big thumbs up from us here at RPS.
4. Panic Button Pacifier-
Enough said. Guard this peace-keeping device
from Chill, Baby with your life – your eardrums will depend on it.
5. 100 Reasons to Panic About Having A Baby-
While I’m not sure that “100 Reasons to Panic”
covers all the reasons to be terrified, the list does sound pretty comprehensive. It also provides reassurance that everything is “probably, maybe, definitely” going to be okay. My kind of book.
6. Parenting Flashcards-
Okay, so after you’ve terrorized the new parents to be, quell their fears with Knock Knock’s Parenting Flashcards
. The set’s 50 cards (and fold out game insert) will have your loved ones speaking fluent Parent in no time.